I just realized something.
I'll probably get the role of the relative who drives around my mom to see my brother, or drives my brother to somewhere he likes during visits, and act as transportation intermediary between some family members in general when the context allows. Especially my sisters. My mom can't drive even an hour away. It gives her panic attacks. I've driven for an hour several times during lessons with instructor.
When I can drive on my own, I could see it occur. Not that I would mind, but I will have my own adult shit and I'll have to schedule stuff in a way that is okay for me.
I am my brother's only glimmer of hope outside of the system. 🙁 I hate this. I have a strong feeling this may happen.
I want him to have a forever home. I hate to see him languish in group homes all his life. I hate it so much.
He may not live necessarily with me when I get my own place, but I wonder if it will be possible to have him do sleepovers. I'll ask his caregivers and social workers, and my mom has to be okay with it because she's the one legally required to have a say in who he visits.
Once I get my own place I will get him a Safe Bed thing.
And AAC. So he can use them whenever he comes over. He gets to keep the AAC to talk. Bed will stay at my place (or be transported back and forth - honestly, his bedroom is pitiful to see, he has no bed base but otherwise he will headbang on it).
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But my point is, my mother is aging. My sisters will likely need some assisted living program or other forms of support when they move out to give them a better chance of living more independently. One of my sisters cannot fully live independently. And we all know my mom one day will crash. She's tired. She's in her fifties and worn out. She even told me many times. Currently my sisters live with our mom. When she crashes, they will have to move out somewhere.
The system is treating my brother like an asset. My sisters got a good start, but they lack certain important skills. And as for me, I was failed both by the system and partially my parents (at least until now - mom is helping me meanwhile).
And I will have no one else in the family but ME to help out. Dad's out of the picture completely.
And as for my brother, what if I die? There will be no one to ever visit him again.
I will probably have to become, in the next 10-15 years, the backbone of the family. My uncle can't just step in, he has his own life and hurdles. And my Canadian grandparents are either dead or have severe dementia.
As time slowly goes on, the needs of my siblings will increase. My uncle will get old too. And who the heck will put my mom in nursing home if she gets dementia or becomes too weak to function? Who will pay for it?? Her retirement plan? I don't know! I will have my own life too and bills to pay! I can only care about a limited number of persons! I can be there for my sisters, brother and mother, but not anyone else in the family. And also, I will not be able to have under my wing any of them full-time. (with one of my sisters possibly being an exception). So here is why I ABSOLUTELY need a car of my own. So that I can do this.
I need to be strong and take it one day at a time. First contact with aliens at Telosian mountain can happen, but I feel that I need to be there for my family in some way. I need to focus on my vocational school, and my car, and live life as much as I can. The rest can come later.
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