The Truth

I hate being here. So deeply it's indescribable. Earth isn't my home either at all despite having lived several lifetimes here in a row. My home is Lyra. It's not necessarily a matter of "how long I have to live here", but a matter of severe exhaustion and needing to see my star family once again, which limits how long I can reasonably live here without ending up into extreme suffering.

If nothing direct and substantial happens, such as Physical Intervention and Contact, I doubt I would see myself live past 30. And all of the 'new' younger Lightworkers who more recently incarnated... they'll have to suffer too.

Let me share, if that's not too straightforward and brutally honest, a recent real-life instance of the early stages of Lightworker collapse:

Just less than a week ago, I ended up begging God to take me when I sleep. Yes, again. My mental health fluctuates constantly and flips again and again thanks to this entire fiasco and my own problems. 

Almost like a unipolar depression. I couldn't stand it. But He insisted again that I stay for now. I woke up the next day disappointed but understanding. So the verdict is, I can't leave yet. I even had ideations of finding dealers for fentanyl and OD'ing myself, or signing up for MAID in 2027 when Canada *could* potentially accept mental illness cases (again, if NOTHING ever changes by then). I get phases like that, and often. I'm concerned about the day when this 'phase' happens again and risks becoming permanent. Hospitals refuse to deal with me because they're overloaded and I'm not psychotic, and none specializes in our spiritual matters. Crisis centers don't help, because they just... don't have a lot, and they can't welcome you in if you're in a group home. Besides, I am trying to organize a roommate living timeline. Therapy is so-so, but it doesn't resolve the core problem. The core problem is ENVIRONMENTAL. Even a nurse at a hospital quickly realized that about me!

I want to prove myself as an example of what could happen if they don't do anything. I'm not even saying this as a way to say my lifeline absolutely depends on intervention and contact.. but it kinda does. I have no other options right now. I compare my situation to being a patient at the Starseed/Lightworker intensive care unit. I don't care, I'll accept almost anywhere they send me when I get contacted. Be it a positive military base with ETs, or an exoplanet. If they eventually said "You'll be sent to Mars for 5 years" I'd agree at this point because honestly, fuck this place. Better yet, if I can choose. And yes, I am aware of the presence of bases on Mars and ETs. This is so sad because my life projects REQUIRE E.T. contact to fully happen. I know I said I can't just wait for that, but I do have spiritual agreements. I need to get the real immersion, and I have profound grief of not seeing them face to face.

To those who are meant to intervene on Earth: DO IT.

This is how I really feel.