Verbalflux / Semi-conversational

I realized I'm verbalflux and semi-conversational. It doesn't show at first, but I experience this.

I started to use text-to-speech and AAC to accommodate my verbal experience. I have a lot of frustration in not being always able to initiate a conversation or having "something to say" or keep a spontaneous flow of conversation. I have so much to say. The problem is that I have difficulty just encrypting my complex ideas into a coherent verbal format, and it's been a very long time that I have trouble with speaking up in group convos on voice or IRL, which shows itself as perpetual silence on my part. I also experience stark social anxiety in certain situations. Or sometimes I am tired and just don't feel like talking vocally.

And in conversation, I might sometimes just be able to reply with very short utterances. "Yeah", "mhm", "no", "what?", "sounds good", etc.

In real life, I often talk to adress a need, convey information about a topic of interest, or, to answer to a question or other prompt.

And the worst part is when people ask me a thousand questions just to make small talk.

I do not use icon-based AAC that much, because it doesn't suit me to just look constantly for folders and dig through categories to find one word every time and go back to the start menu and repeat the same action. This irritates me so much. Besides, I can type. I use prescripted text prompts in my apps when I want to reiterate a statement. so I do not have to type it all over again.

I am learning to adapt and navigate through my own neurodivergences.