About my Soulmates

Griffon is a being from an uncertain origin. He is affiliated with Dragons and Fae. He has quite the history. Being a very old soul, he's been through many different situations. He is possibly part-Anunnaki and some of his careers include IT, proofreading and other administrative and techy things, including an interest in vehicles. We met around 2018.

He has a few children, possibly 4 of them that I am aware of. I saw/heard of them twice in dreamspace. Mostly humanoids.

He lives in a strange Earth-like reality, and speaks in an Arabic-like language along with "Frenglish". Everytime I hear him, I'm in a house.

My partner also supposedly had an ex-wife, and his current partner is me.

Lester is a werewolf-like figure who is more in the background of my operations.

How "FND" affects me (and why I now think it will not fully go away unless advanced tech fixes it)

Today I had a flare up just going to the light rail metro. Here's what caused it:

• I got off at the wrong bus stop and had to walk like 15-20 minutes all the way to the station, and my "stress" freeze response went almost skyrocketing as usual
• Having to wait multiple times at large intersections (that's frequently triggering to me)
• A sort of downwards slope next to a sidewalk that led to an underground thing, so I had to find an alternate path because it was too triggering
• The "tunnel effect" of the entrance to the metro station
• Having to go up to an elevated enclosed corridor platform up in the air that had big windows (heights)
• Having to go up and down tall staircases that just seem like they're... floatingly there
• 
  

• 

  Tunnel effect in a station's wing

  
  

  

  Elevated platform

  
  
  

And afterwards I got deeply exhausted on the way back.

I often forget that my body has limits to how much it can handle in these situations and transporting myself with no assistive things can be risky because I can lose control. I almost stopped being able to go there. In the past, I relied on mobility aids to prevent flare ups like that because otherwise I wasn't able to go anywhere.

It's always the same scenario that happens. When  I go out far like that, there's frequently 'something that occurs' in this context. So I can't be "fully able-bodied 24/7 all the time no matter what I do". My triggers remain the same since 2022.

I tried to recover. Eventually, I was "in remission", but there's residue.

Some people say I'm just agoraphobic and 'avoidant'. Well, that's not entirely accurate. FND affects my sense of perceptual groundedness, safety and anchoring within environmental boundaries. I have remnants of FND now. My form of the condition affects my sensory perceptions and stress responses to sensory triggers. But sometimes I forget it can come back.

I am aware some autistic and disabled people use adaptive strollers/wheelchairs to move around because it's a safety anchor. Like for example if they have regular seizures, or severe sensory issues. I was ambivalent for a while on whether I should get one again. I switched regularly from yes to no, then "maybe". Now, I'm closer to understanding that this is not going to fully leave me. This has nothing to do with my musculoskeletal structure or cardiopulmonary health. I am fully fine in those areas.

I know I said before that it's not totally "FND" but I call it that for simplicity's sake now.

And now you know another reason why I want to finally visit my home in the galaxies.

I think I might want trekking sticks for now.

Life updates

Occupational situation

So I have two possible educational paths right now.

Option 1: I tried to find the best vocational center to study administration, in order to work as an Admin Assistant. I ended up finding one that is remote learning and suits me well with the number of hours per week - 15 minimum. Well, the actual diploma is Secretarial Studies - but they do admin assistant training included.

Why would I want to do this?

The answer is simple. I want to help create an organization for starseeds, HSPs, an neurodiverse/disabled people. I will need to develop administrative skills and potentially go for a degree to be self-employed or find employment at first (because sadly, we gotta work through the system to break it!)

There's a new metro called REM that connects South Shore, Montreal and the very bottom point of the Laurentides. 

The branch that connects between Montreal and the Laurentides stations opens next month. I just have to go by bus to the station closest to me and take the REM from there all the way to the last station. It would take roughly 2 hours total to get there.

However, that's probably only going to be for in-person exams and going to sign my documents there when I begin training, so I won't have to go there as much in person. But still, it's very advantageous to have the REM now, so commuting there is easy. I took it a few times to Montreal myself.

Option number two: There is also the possibility of IT training in a vocational center in my area. I haver yet to ask them if they do online remote training. If they do not; I would rather not go there. I tried to do this before. Going to one place 5 days a week back and forth is too exhausting, especially if I wake up early. I can't do it! This is why I prefer remote jobs far more (working from home!). It seems that most IT training in DEP centers is in person. And if they can't offer remote training, 'administration' seems to be my best solution. Not ideal, but good, despite my mother's constant negativism towards my true potential, under the pretext that 'she knows me'.

No, she doesn't. Sorry, mom, I am an ADULT, and you have never known me like I know myself. And I had to find THE center where this will be realistically doable.

We need more accessible education. While waiting for temporary extraction, I want to find meaning in my life.

I prefer admin assistant over IT. However, for what purpose exactly does IT training do with me? That's not really up my avenue. How am I going to help start an organization with just tech support skills?

We also need better transit design in all aspects and variety of transportation modes.

To commute to the vocational center by December, I will only have to take one bus plus the REM. The REM metro is personally soothing, so I can nap in there for an hour and it is universally accessible. So that makes 4 "lines" in total per day I go. Before the opening of the new branch, it would take 4 buses/metros to just go there, so 8 buses in a day. And I don't wanna do that. Who does?

To the Exomilitary Groups

Indifference and fear are perhaps the biggest road-traffic-causer and killer in terms of course of action. If no one wants to make themselves vulnerable and step forward, someone will have to carry the burden of many responsibilities that they cannot split apart with a team until they too decide to partake.

For decades, no one "regular" in the Occident batted an eye at seeing African children starve and die of hunger, or terrorism and religious wars in the Levantine area because of "occidental privilege" causing a lack of emotional committment. But now, for some reason, we now see no less than many yards and hundreds of total square miles of regularly organized "Free Palestine" protesting across several "first world countries". I guess the rumor mill of an organized beheading of groups of human infants did it. "Famine confirmed in Gaza" did it. In my town, someone already hung up a Palestinian flag on their balcony. 5 years ago, no one would have had the committment to support the cause of Levantine peace. Recently, a ceasefire deal was announced.

If we treated our homeless, our poor, our disabled and ill the same way, we'd go many places in transforming our system from the inside out. But sadly Big Brother Media takes much precedence in influencing the top-down approach of stigmatizing and obfuscating information about our more marginalized communities. The people who tend to get the most privileged treatment are pediatric cancer patients and victims of crime and sexual assault. We should have a bottom-up approach of investigating the details and coming to conclusions afterwards. 

All developmentally disabled people et al. get is uneven social services because they don't lay in a hospital bed 24/7. Ironically, cancer is temporary while neurodevelopmental conditons are permanent.

Why do these cancer patients have a privilege of benefitting from Make-A-Wish realizing their dreams, just by verbal request, while those who do not have serious physical diseases and a normal life expectancy, but are homeless or severely disadvantaged, get almost nothing but a shadow, an echo, breadcrumbs of fundamental human rights? Trans rights? Disability rights? Don't blame crime or drugs. You do not even have to be on the streets to get those services or HRT, although it can bar access. And despite relentless advocacy against oppression, social justice politics have only been parodied and twisted to become a pointless joke.

I think the same question can be asked to the esoteric and exomilitary groups who are mandated to serve the cause of the Goddess: universal peace. They may have a different lens on Earth's situation, but in contrast, they tend to be more telepathic and can hear, see and sense what we perceive and feel.

However, the treatment seems to be in priority levels, which I do not approve of. Children from DUMBs were rescued, triggering the war in Gaza. Zero mainstream media coverage on the rescueing, sure. On top of that, "Q" has done severe collateral damage to the whistleblower circles by peddling extreme rumors in a scheduled, esoteric format. Some of them ring true, but the original authors of Q have been exposed. It's like Anonymous 2.0. People love it when a mysterious, faceless person claims to have secret intel. If the non-captive surface population is treated with such breadcrumb-level care, and dropping an anvil of expectations on them at the worst timing possible, causing unevenness of information and action - is considered the "right" approach - then what happens to the children?

What is someone like me - a sociospiritual worker - meant to do, when committed action has a risk of landing in the wrong hands or having diminishing returns? Even more, what happens to us starseeds and Lightworkers? And the "samsara hostages"? That's the question we are all wondering. There should be a term for the added inequalities that the Ascended Master and exomilitary groups take credit for perpetuating into our communities, but I do not know yet what it is.

Fix your logistics, yo. Because we are depleted and can't do the full job you have. You have one job.

I'm so done.

Please watch this video.

A very important mythbusting message

Hello everyone, this is Talia. I want to myth bust a rampant ideological territory that has affected billions of people. And I'm speaking about the idea of a rapture, and the end of the world as we know it.

I am very, very disappointed in what many have developed as a mindset regarding first contact and physical alien disclosure.

As a representative of certain extraterrestrial and astral collectives that are affiliated with me and my family, who are benevolent, and work with first contact: I should say, that all of the information you have read and heard about things like the rapture, doomsday, and salvation are false, they are a deformation of the true plan that was being crafted by the positive factions for eons.

The catalystic apex of a civilization always results in what you describe as 'mass disclosure'. When we reach a breaking point as a society on Earth, there is always a catalyst of change by revelations of the truth, about our true orgins, nature, and contact with the other side. This is not the first occasion this has happened. During the quote unquote, Biblical times, it happened as well. 

The controlling forces that have engineered humanity to be deceived and give away implicit consent to their games, has created a religious narrative, or multiple branches of one, thast completely distort the events of First Contact. There was contact thousands of years ago. So now it's happening again.

People panic because there is a 'savior' or something. NO! DO NOT TURN IT INTO A RELIGION!

The worst part is because of Earth's semi-quarantine status, the forces of corruption do not want it to happen, so they create a total shitshow out of first contact predictions. Drones? Alert the populartion to fear foreign visitors, they parrot.

The truth is that first contact and extractions off-world are supposed to be a trivial protocol. But humans, being so brainwashed, create such a big drama out of that, and so do the dark forces. I believe that the saying that physical alien disclosure and contact would completely break the matrix apart and collapse humanity is completely exaggerated, and is a lie or propaganda created by the dark forces just like the controlled karmic wheel of samsara, the so-called prime directive, or the factoid that Earth is a school to cause people to implicitly consent to continuing their prolongated suffering for no reason at all, and they justify it as growth, and we are past that mentality now. There is a mass belief in extraterrestrials, which honestly do exist, and still, nobody dies from that. And actually, there is a strong narrative that vilifies the idea of off-world extractions or catastrophic disclosure, especially on social media, and many of the negative abductions were partially to destroy the plan of benevolent first contact so that people assume that being picked up on a ship is bad and that the dark forces will trick you, or that you are just being avoidant and escaping your life. Though there have been attempts by the dark forces at picking up contactees by impersonation of benevolent people. Another misconception is that first contact and catastrophic disclosure inevitably leads to total global collapse. Due to this, I cannot fully rely on some of the 2012 portal blog's workshop notes.

As a representative of first contact beings, I say, again, for the love of God, stop destroying and dramatizing physical ET first contact and physical ET disclosure with nonsensical propaganda. This has gotten too out of hand. I was prepared against this propaganda since a long time. I'm not saying negative aliens don't exist, but I'm telling people to stop dramatizing and generalizing. By continuing to enable this fearmongering, I'm sorry to say this but you are part of the problem trying to sabotage my mission of facilitating physical extractions and private physical first contact with benevolent aliens. If someone has enough awareness to request contact or extraction, their free will should be honored, unless they have done something very awful that would go against their own extraction by any means.

The solution would be to do a physical intervention now and to stop creating all these wars, genocides, and dramas all because of the belief that physical disclosure and first contact will destroy your matrix. But obviously, the elites won't change, they are genetically unable to ascend in consciousness, so they should just be beamed off-world. Besides that, "medbeds" (ugh, again..) were just announced by Trump on Truth Social, even though the video is AI.

There is no rapture. This is all fabricated to scare you off first contact and physical friendly disclosure, and these two are meant to be a normalized, trivial thing, not drama theatrics.

First contact will not cause collapse. The 2030 agenda wants to cause collapse.

Extractions are not bad. Abductions, and especially for the sake of smearing extractions, is bad.

Physical intervention should absolutely happen regardless!

There is no such thing as controlled or catastrophic disclosure. At least it's not supposed to be. There is however, controlled and catastrophic sabotage.

The reason you are panicking is because of the LIES.

First contact and alien disclosure should be TRIVIAL.

Thank you for listening.

Verbalflux / Semi-conversational

I realized I'm verbalflux and semi-conversational. It doesn't show at first, but I experience this.

I started to use text-to-speech and AAC to accommodate my verbal experience. I have a lot of frustration in not being always able to initiate a conversation or having "something to say" or keep a spontaneous flow of conversation. I have so much to say. The problem is that I have difficulty just encrypting my complex ideas into a coherent verbal format, and it's been a very long time that I have trouble with speaking up in group convos on voice or IRL, which shows itself as perpetual silence on my part. I also experience stark social anxiety in certain situations. Or sometimes I am tired and just don't feel like talking vocally.

And in conversation, I might sometimes just be able to reply with very short utterances. "Yeah", "mhm", "no", "what?", "sounds good", etc.

In real life, I often talk to adress a need, convey information about a topic of interest, or, to answer to a question or other prompt.

And the worst part is when people ask me a thousand questions just to make small talk.

I do not use icon-based AAC that much, because it doesn't suit me to just look constantly for folders and dig through categories to find one word every time and go back to the start menu and repeat the same action. This irritates me so much. Besides, I can type. I use prescripted text prompts in my apps when I want to reiterate a statement. so I do not have to type it all over again.

I am learning to adapt and navigate through my own neurodivergences.