The problem is that my microcosmic life has been pillaged repeatedly by life circumstances and the DF. Mental illness, quasi-poverty, coordinated attacks on my life and sovereignty and instability have all delayed what I could have had sooner.
I had to earn even the most basic luxuries, through hard self-work. Like, affording driving courses, for example. Alignments made it happen, I guess.
I just got denied for an IT vocational course. I don't have enough credits.
Honestly, I don't have the intrinsic drive to continue studying to get a GED. I tried many times. Maths at that level are too much of a headache. Everything about GED studies is too energivore. And I don't see myself constantly fixing errors anymore.
I don't have the stamina or health to wake up at 6 AM, every morning and come back at 5 PM. I always end up extremely sleepy when I do that, and even went to the doctor for this cause. All my blood and lab results come back normal.
THIS, is why I'm better off in a different social system, ones ETs may have. I cannot continue in the current conditions. Nope. I can't do it anymore. Maybe get a part time job in a corner store or whatever close to me, and learn to drive, but that's it. It's only to keep income going to save up for my car.
I am indeed planning a Mt Shasta trip in roughly 2027-ish or later. I told myself if I can't meet them where I live, I might as well go see them myself.
My life has shifted gears entirely so this end result happens: I meet the ETs.
I just need my car. That's all. And to remove conservatorship, possibly. Then I can just start a new life.
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